Confessions of an Idiosyncratic Knitter

Explanation of Merit Badges


The "Proselytize Knitting" Badge
For teaching 5 people to knit and for frequently knitting in public, whether with a group or by myself, and starting conversations with complete strangers


The "MacGyver" Badge (Level I)
For using my wedding ring as a stitch marker, and for my version of macaroni art, with video.


The "MacGyver" Badge (Level II)
For using a clicky, retractable measuring tape as a child's toy

Okay, I'm not entirely sure I deserve this one as pretty much anything could be used as a child's toy. I may have to consult my camp counselor.


The "Knitting Whilst Under the Influence" Badge
For attempting to muddle my way through houndstooth after three Azul Margaritas when I'm used to wine coolers that have so little alcohol it isn't even listed on the label

Let's just say my fair isle was not the fairest in the land.


The “I Will Impress You With My Math Prowess” Badge
For being comfortable substituting yarns, calculating gauge, spacing increases and decreases evenly, resizing patterns and even designing my own


The “I Will Crush You With My Math Prowess” Badge
For using Fibonacci's sequence to determine stripe width, and many other geeky projects-to-be still in my head


The “I’ve Knit Items With No Conceivable Practical Application” Badge
For felted poo and cow figurine legwarmers


The “I’ve Been Rejected By a Knitting Magazine” Badge
For Raudona and Chromosome